Holiday ROUGH

Every holiday has its trademark traditions, and they are all important elements of our culture. Valentine’s Day immediately brings up thoughts of chocolate, birthdays feature cakes, Halloween means even more chocolate and a variety of candies, Thanksgiving is a day of feasting, and Christmas is like a combination of all: hot chocolate, candy canes, and excessive feasting. The tiniest holidays can cause us to overexcite our eating skills, and the most important can give us an excuse to party all night to eat even more. So I wondered why we came up with these traditions. They help our mood tremendously, but it’s no exaggeration to say that our health suffers because of them. But that can’t be right. We, being so intelligent, cannot possibly do something so stupid. Perhaps we are all unconsciously trying to kill ourselves in order to reduce the population, thus keeping our race from exceeding the carrying capacity. Yes, that should be it.
Despite current observations, holidays are all assumed to have originated from something reasonable. Even Santa Claus had St. Nick to tie him to reality. Now they are blown to extreme proportions, bringing many people along with them to a realm called “Supersize”. It is a curious place, where people roll in extra fat for insurance against the hard winter—and Fall, in the case of Thanksgiving—and devour so many sweets that they could be considered meals. People nowadays must be very skeptical about surviving in this difficult environment that they consume more than they need; almost as if they would run out of food if they stopped. The many holidays must serve as times of rejuvenation; when else would they be able to take in the necessary nutrients? Certainly not in everyday life.
Also notable around holidays is the tendency to shop excessively. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all have their own days of discount. People, dissatisfied with their current hoard, need to increase their stash of belongings. It is very much like a dragon sitting on a pile of gold; the possessions make its lair worth visiting, and so visitors, invited or not, may be impressed by all the goods. Ah, there is nothing more satisfying than collecting more things. The holidays provide a perfect opportunity for this hobby. It’s not every day that we are able to increase our wealth this way.
So far, our over-consuming of food and shopping habits are reasonable, but something strange still lingers in the cold, seasonal air: Christmas trees. Acres of fir trees being harvested for decoration plays no part in helping our health or wealth, and if anything, it is troublesome to prepare and lug around such a large plant. But after reviewing the selfless tendencies of people, I found the answer quite obvious: we only want to extend our joy to the plants as well, thanking them for all their hard work. Trees are a major source of oxygen, and they play the all-important role of stabilizing the ground as well as providing homes for countless creatures. Such benefactors deserve a place in our delightful homes, clothed in the best lights and ornaments. It’s just like Independence Day, when we show the sky our appreciation by decorating it with brilliant fireworks, completely willing to sacrifice a few people to accidents as they play with the fire. We lend nature our happiness. How sensitive we are, don’t you think?
All these events may sound strange, but at least we are assured that they are beneficial not only to us, but to nature. It’s no surprise, really, with all our intellect and logical reasoning. I’m surprised I even wondered why all those traditions had developed this way. It makes complete sense. Really, it does.

Every holiday has its trademark traditions, and they are all important elements of our culture. Valentine’s Day immediately brings up thoughts of chocolate, birthdays feature cakes, Halloween means even more chocolate and a variety of candies, Thanksgiving is a day of feasting, and Christmas is like a combination of all: hot chocolate, candy canes, and excessive feasting. The tiniest holidays can cause us to overexcite our eating skills, and the most important can give us an excuse to party all night to eat even more. So I wondered why we came up with these traditions. They help our mood tremendously, but it’s no exaggeration to say that our health suffers because of them. But that can’t be right. We, being so intelligent, cannot possibly do something so stupid. Perhaps we are all unconsciously trying to kill ourselves in order to reduce the population, thus keeping our race from exceeding the carrying capacity. Yes, that should be it.

Despite current observations, holidays are all assumed to have originated from something reasonable. Even Santa Claus had St. Nick to tie him to reality. Now <,> they are blown to extreme proportions, bringing many people along with them to a realm called “Supersize”. It is a curious place, where people roll in extra fat for insurance against the hard winter—and Fall <fall>, in the case of Thanksgiving—and devour so many sweets that they could be considered meals. People nowadays must be very skeptical about surviving in this difficult environment that they consume more than they need; almost as if they would run out of food if they stopped. The many holidays must serve as times of rejuvenation; when else would they be able to take in the necessary nutrients? Certainly not in everyday life.

Also notable around holidays is the tendency to shop excessively. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all have their own days of discount. People, dissatisfied with their current hoard, need to increase their stash of belongings. It is very much like a dragon sitting on a pile of gold; the possessions make its lair worth visiting, and so visitors, invited or not, may be impressed by all the goods. Ah, there is nothing more satisfying than collecting more things. The holidays provide a perfect opportunity for this hobby. It’s not every day that we are able to increase our wealth this way.

So far, our over-consuming of food and shopping habits are reasonable, but something strange still lingers in the cold, seasonal air: Christmas trees. Acres of fir trees being harvested for decoration plays no part in helping our health or wealth, and if anything, it is troublesome to prepare and lug around such a large plant. But after reviewing the selfless tendencies of people, I found the answer quite obvious: we only want to extend our joy to the plants as well, thanking them for all their hard work. Trees are a major source of oxygen, and they play the all-important role of stabilizing the ground as well as providing homes for countless creatures. Such benefactors deserve a place in our delightful homes, clothed in the best lights and ornaments. It’s just like Independence Day, when we show the sky our appreciation by decorating it with brilliant fireworks, completely willing to sacrifice a few people to accidents as they play with the fire. We lend nature our happiness. How sensitive we are, don’t you think?

All these events may sound strange, but at least we are assured that they are beneficial not only to us, but to nature. It’s no surprise, really, with all our intellect and logical reasoning. I’m surprised I even wondered why all those traditions had developed this way. It makes complete sense. Really, it does.

Every holiday has its trademark traditions, and they are all important elements of our culture. Valentine’s Day immediately brings up thoughts of chocolate, birthdays feature cakes, Halloween means even more chocolate and a variety of candies, Thanksgiving is a day of feasting, and Christmas is like a combination of all: hot chocolate, candy canes, and excessive feasting. The tiniest holidays can cause us to overexcite our eating skills, and the most important can give us an excuse to party all night to eat even more. So I wondered why we came up with these traditions. They help our mood tremendously, but it’s no exaggeration to say that our health suffers because of them. But that can’t be right. We, being so intelligent, cannot possibly do something so stupid. Perhaps we are all unconsciously trying to kill ourselves in order to reduce the population, thus keeping our race from exceeding the carrying capacity. Yes, that should be it.

Despite current observations, holidays are all assumed to have originated from something reasonable. Even Santa Claus had St. Nick to tie him to reality. Now, they are blown to extreme proportions, bringing many people along with them to a realm called “Supersize”. It is a curious place, where people roll in extra fat for insurance against the hard winter—and fall, in the case of Thanksgiving—and devour so many sweets that they could be considered meals. People nowadays must be very skeptical about surviving in this difficult environment that they consume more than they need; almost as if they would run out of food if they stopped. The many holidays must serve as times of rejuvenation; when else would they be able to take in the necessary nutrients? Certainly not in everyday life.

Also notable around holidays is the tendency to shop excessively. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all have their own days of discount. People, dissatisfied with their current hoard, need to increase their stash of belongings. It is very much like a dragon sitting on a pile of gold; the possessions make its lair worth visiting, and so visitors, invited or not, may be impressed by all the goods. Ah, there is nothing more satisfying than collecting more things. The holidays provide a perfect opportunity for this hobby. It’s not every day that we are able to increase our wealth this way.

So far, our over-consuming of food and shopping habits are reasonable, but something strange still lingers in the cold, seasonal air: Christmas trees. Acres of fir trees being harvested for decoration plays no part in helping our health or wealth, and if anything, it is troublesome to prepare and lug around such a large plant. But after reviewing the selfless tendencies of people, I found the answer quite obvious: we only want to extend our joy to the plants as well, thanking them for all their hard work. Trees are a major source of oxygen, and they play the all-important role of stabilizing the ground as well as providing homes for countless creatures. Such benefactors deserve a place in our delightful homes, clothed in the best lights and ornaments. It’s just like Independence Day, when we show the sky our appreciation by decorating it with brilliant fireworks, completely willing to sacrifice a few people to accidents as they play with the fire. We lend nature our happiness. How sensitive we are, don’t you think?

All these events may sound strange, but at least we are assured that they are beneficial not only to us, but to nature. It’s no surprise, really, with all our intellect and logical reasoning. I’m surprised I even wondered why all those traditions had developed this way. It makes complete sense. Really, it does.